Preparation
The best jewelry tells a story, and that sentiment is especially true when it comes to engagement rings. These treasured pieces symbolize two people coming together as one—and perhaps no ring style represents that union better than the toi et moi. “The french translation of toi et moi is ‘you and I,’” explains Olivia Landau, certified gemologist and CEO and founder of The Clear Cut, noting that the ring style features two main stones, representing each person in the relationship. Putting them onto a single setting, then, is a metaphor for building a life as partners. Sentimentality aside, Landau believes this is a popular option for modern brides simply because of the luxe extra stone. If you’re partial to this design, there are a few things you should know before you drop hints to your significant other.
For starters, it’s a wonderful shape to work on together, since toi et moi engagement rings give you the ability to create something unique and meaningful to your relationship, Landau shares. Ultimately, you can design the ring with any cut or stone combination that appeals to you. “I love using pear shapes in toi et moi rings; they are great complements to many other shapes,” she explains. “You can match a pear shape to a rounded cut, like a round brilliant or cushion, but also a shape with sharper points, like a princess or emerald.” Another key consideration? If your personal preference is two stones, Landau says to make sure their general ratings match. “You don’t want to see discrepancies when it comes to the quality of the diamonds,” she notes. And while it may be tempting to get creative and opt for a pearl or another less-durable gem, Landau recommends sticking with harder stones, like diamonds, sapphires, and rubies, for everyday wear.
Whichever gems you choose, you should also make sure their positioning and proportions make sense—and when it comes to the band, Landau says her clients typically opt for a simple setting to ensure the stones are the focal point. Of course, it’s your engagement ring, so the way your toi et moi bauble looks is entirely up to you, affirms Landau.
While the rings are extremely popular right now thanks to celebrities like Ariana Grande (whose ring is above, right), Kylie Jenner, and newly-engaged Megan Fox (above, left), you don’t have to worry about this being a passing trend. Toi et moi rings have been around for decades. Case in point? Former First Lady Jackie Kennedy, who accepted John F. Kennedy’s proposal in 1953, sported a toi et moi engagement ring designed by Van Cleef & Arpels; her stunning ring featured an emerald-cut emerald and an emerald-cut diamond as the main stones.
Now that you’re well versed on everything there is to know about this engagement ring style, we’ve provided a few eye-catching options that are available to you—or your special someone—right now.
Best Bezel-Set: Mejuri Bezel Set Diamond RingBest Budget-Friendly: Ring Concierge Twin Diamond RingBest Eco-Conscious: Vrai Mixed Cuff Ring Best Lab-Grown: Light Box Blue Diamond RingBest Heart-Shape: Zoe Lev Pear and Heart Shape Ring
